This Is How I Find Her

Gr 9 Up—Sixteen-year-old Sophie is artistic, smart, and easygoing-a perfect daughter in an imperfect home. When she comes home from school to find her mother unconscious and sprawled out in their shared bedroom, a near-empty bottle of pills spilled nearby, Sophie's well-orchestrated world tips as she calls 911 and her difficult road to admission, acceptance, and looking for help begins. Sophie has been caring for Amy, who battles bipolar disorder, since she was 11. Nobody, not even Amy's sister, Aunt Cynthia, speaks about Amy's illness. Now as Amy recovers in the hospital, Sophie temporarily moves in with her aunt, uncle, and teenage cousin. She is shaken from the guilt of being unable to make Amy take her prescribed medication and the shame of what happens when she doesn't. Sophie is also devastated by her mother's actions. She wants to know "how my mother could do this knowing I would be the one to find her…or whether she thought of me at all." Sophie returns to school feigning an interest in friends and projects while constantly unsettled with worry, and readers see her struggle to adapt, adjust, and cope with her conflicted feelings, including, "the part of my life that's been better since my mother left." Sophie's voice is unflinchingly honest and convincing. Amy is the catalyst but the story is all Sophie's. She is astute and courageous, daring to effect a satisfying and compassionate resolution. A difficult topic made approachable by well-crafted writing.—Alison Follos, formerly at North Country School, Lake Placid, NY