A Breath Too Late

Gr 8 Up–Sandwiched between a trigger warning and a list of hotlines, this raw and tragic debut opens with its narrator’s inexplicit suicide and goes on to a detailed account of how years of physical and psychological abuse spiraled into depression and finally despair. In semi-epistolary chapters addressed mostly to cowed, bruised Momma and her estranged but loving friend, August, but also to her twisted father, her growing depression, the sky, death, and other eidolons, Ellie recalls incidents marking the slow disappearance of joy and color from her world. Her father’s threats and beatings combined with the influence of her terror-stricken home life have overwhelmed any hopes of escape except one. But the story’s overall tone is one of profound regret, as in the aftermath of her death Ellie revisits past moments of joy, catches a glimpse of what might have been with August, and also witnesses her mother making the 911 call that at last promises an end to the violence. “I let go too soon,” Ellie heartbreakingly concludes, realizing “a breath too late” that among life’s broken, ugly shards, hope and promise remain.